Dust, an Elysian Tale: You speak to me. Please stop.

I don't tend to take much stock in things I hear from talking rabbits, and haven't been able or interested to follow the plot of a tale told in Japstrionics since Akira, but Dust was a rodent I could relate to.

For I, too, contain a rage capable of immolating all injustice with a thousand rapid blows.

For I, too, contain an empathy capable of effacing all efforts with duty and guilt.

And for I, too, am inseparable from a high-pitched chorus always buzzing in my ear.

Also we both wish we were Princess Gwendolyn.

thanks to Dosala1 for capturing the game's best moment so well.

Dust: an Elysian Tale

Resigned Gamer Returns?

There are a lot of reasons I stopped writing Resigned Gamer, but in hindsight I think the most important reason is that I stopped being resigned. In fact, over the past few years, I've become overwhelmed with optimism. Sure all the new console games still suck, and I can’t look at someone’s screen on the subway without seeing Candy Crush, but why does that have to be my problem?

I stopped playing PC games around the PS2 era. I never got into Steam, and completely missed the indie renaissance that was springing up everywhere, and is now in full bloom. Then, as a wedding present, Doomeru (bless his useless heart) built me my very own custom gaming compy. Oh yeah, I got married, too. And Doomeru and his Flower Girl now have two sons! The older one, who is 3, is learning his (ragdoll) physics from Trials Fusion and how to be a good big brother from “The Brothers Game” (just don’t tell him how it ends).   

But anyway, I feel like I’ve been living in The Saboteur all these years- the whole black & white world thing, not the whole inattentive Nazis everywhere thing- and suddenly I’m seeing what will be instead of what was. It started dawning on me with Osmos and SpaceChem, and I’ve been hooked on indie games ever since. Since this blog went dormant I’ve systematically devoured, in regrettably undocumented but roughly chronological order: Hotline Miami, Space Pirates and Zombies, Ring Runner, Shank, Bastion, Unity of Command, Frozen Synapse, Ironclad Tactics, Mark of the Ninja, Limbo, TheSwapper, Steamworld Dig, Papers Please, Hoplite, Halfway, Calculords, Shank 2, Gemini Rue, Mercenary Kings, Unepic, Super Motherload, Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet, Rogue Legacy, Guacamelee, Out There, Ittle Dew, Deadlight, Super Win The Game, Capsized, Ravenmark SOE, and The Banner Saga. They’ve all been absolutely amazing experiences that I wish I’d wrote about while playing, but I’m unaccustomed to saying anything that isn’t self-deprecatory or snark. I’ll try to change that moving forward.

Another reason I stopped pouring my frustrations into this bitter pothole of the internet is that I finally escaped the newspaper industry. I took an extended vacation earned an MBA at the University of Michigan (go blue…beat bama…or something…), and now I pretend to work in Corporate Finance! It’s not exactly exhilarating, but I don’t bring it home with me. It also leaves me unoccupied enough to ponder a question: Can Doomeru and I become indie game investors?

So we’ve started reaching out to indie developers who are working on games we’d love to play. We’re going to try to follow the example (and terms) of the amazing Indie Fund, and by working on a limited, per-project basis, hope to identify people we could form more meaningful, long-term relationships with. Hopefully we’ll find a way to participate in this world we've always been passionate about, but on the outside of. Hopefully we’ll learn something without losing our shirts. I’ll let you know how it goes...

Draw Something: Say Anything

There have been times when I've seen my life as a series of failures to communicate. My temptation is to turn inward, but at times like these the opposite is all the more important. We must flail, gyrate, and gesticulate, try anything to separate the truth from noise. Otherwise it's all just charades.

My cousin didn't get it...

A moment of clarity!

I know how you feel, Charlie Brown.

Where have I been?

Excuses, excuses all, I know, but I just can't seem to finish a game. I like the credits to roll before I say anything, but to be honest I just haven't felt like writing, because I haven't felt like talking, because I haven't felt like thinking. I still don't.

I've logged over 70 hours down the rabbit hole with Dark Souls, and though the end is still a little ways off I'm already contemplating New Game +, which is not something I ever do. I already started over from the beginning about 30 hours in, which I also normally cannot abide. I haven't tried to follow the story or how the game progresses- I believe insanity is caused by trying to understand the unintelligible- but I can't put this game down...I've avoided enlisting or invading others in my quest, and remained a shriveled and solitary hollow in an endlessly expanding world, equal parts abusive and fair, unsympathetic and forgiving, full of unsolicited advice and silence. I like it this way.


I've also been playing Battle for Wesnoth and Solomon's Boneyard, which I'll try to write something about soon. For now, I play Dark Souls.

Happiness is a warm spittled gun

Holiday shopping for Doomeru Jr. today, I came across the gift no infant should go without this season:


And it's organic!

Here's the link. Better get yours fast, it was a recent Etsy favorite!

Me, I'm going with the Super Mushroom teether. Double baby's size or your money back...if mushroom turns purple remove from child's mouth immediately and proceed to nearest hospital.

Colorful Goo: my new painting blog

I've been somewhat at a loss for words, recently. Most of what I've got has been siphoned off into writing Business School applications. I've started a new project, taking close-up photographs of my paintings, and would love you guys to check it out.

Colorful Goo on Blogspot
Colorful Goo on Flickr

Portal 2: I can has advertisement?

this was a triumph (I'm making a note here, huge success).

British people want us to run an ad for Portal 2. This being the first email Resigned Gamer has received with correct punctuation and spelling, we shall comply...We don't know them from Brown Bread, but who doesn't like Portal?

So here you go. It's an ad.

Maybe now all those cucumber porn SEO referrals will pay off, you dirty gits...





from Tatiana Crisan
to RESIGNEDGAMER@gmail.com
date Fri, Mar 25, 2011 at 1:01 PM
subject Advertising Enquiry for Resigned Gamer
mailed-by unrulymedia.com

hide details Mar 25 (2 days ago)


Hi,



Hope you don’t mind me getting in touch; I thought you might like to know about Portal 2, Valve Corporation’s new sci-fi first person action/puzzle game. Part of the Half-Life series, Portal 2 continues Chell’s story after she awakens from stasis.



They've made this video to promote the game, which will be released in April:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ts-j0nFf2e0



We're also looking for sites to run this video on a commercial basis. If you're interested, we can give you a player to embed and pay you for each view in the UK.



You can pick up the video and see the commercial terms for running the campaign, here:

http://console.unrulymedia.com/publisher/video/signup?apid=6333&xname=resignedgamer



We run a large number of gaming campaigns each month so there’s also the opportunity for advertising revenue in the future. If you have any questions along the way, please drop me a line.



Regards,

Tatiana



All Unruly campaigns are clearly marked as commercially sponsored and we adhere to a strict code of ethics, which you can read here: http://www.unrulymedia.com/ethics-code


--
Tatiana Crisan
Media Executive
Unruly Media
11-29 Fashion Street
LONDON
E1 6PX
020 7199 5846

fuck you microsoft, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

preach it.

Lighting strikes twice

Red Ring of Death. Again.

This time around, they have a fancy new wizard to order the repair online...Except they keep saying my email address is invalid...Except it seems perfectly valid every time they want to spam me, or send me point purchase receipts...

I get them on the phone and oh and I'm out of warrantee. Except how does the warrantee apply when it's the REPLACEMENT that broke?

And smooth jazz? seriously?

User Error

Not a game post, but something I was moved to write about...

Driving to work today I heard this story about New York's Board of Elections getting sued because they were afraid to click into the settings tab on their fancy new voting machines.

Driving home (in my 2002 Toyota Prius which I *love,* thank you very much) I heard this story about the high probability of unintended acceleration being caused by people mashing the gas pedal instead of the brakes.

Not unlike the Chinese curse, we truly live in interesting times. The limits of our ecology, economy, and equality are being tested like never before, and decisions that will shape the technology of tomorrow are being left to people who don't even use the technology of today.

Maybe I'm projecting. Maybe all these years at an internet company that doesn't permit people to work remotely, filling out paper timesheets and teaching Ethel the Friendly Neighborhood Newspaper Rep how to find her right mouse button, has skewed my perspective.

Or maybe, compared to the State of New York's inability to access their preferences menu, it's actually worse than I realized.

But should I expect these codgers to copy/paste when they can't even drive? Sometimes the system just can't get any simpler, and the end-user still can't tell his elbow from his end.

Fuck it, I'm hungry.

Street Fighter IV: hate the player, not the game...

I feel profoundly old. Not because I just had a birthday and 30 is on to me like a Dahaka, but because Doomeru bought me a copy of Street Fighter IV, and I made the mistake of playing it.

I didn't play Street Fighter III. I didn't play Street Fighter Alpha, or Super Turbo Douchebag Fighter 20x6. I played Street Fighter fucking II at Lou's Mini Putt-Putt and drew the line at ice blue Ryu. I knew how run the cabinet back in my day. At least I thought I did, and there was no one around in Chester, NJ to tell me otherwise.

apparently i need to learn some new tricks...

Like back on the fencing team in 7th grade, Street Fighter II was about timing, and distance. It was about patience, and poise, and not flinching first.

And so is Street Fighter IV. But things are more complicated these days. Between the super combos and the ultra combos and the and super cancels and focus attacks and ex focuses and throw escapes and technical reversals, I can't seem to see where I stand until I'm lying on my back. It's like the world when and got itself in a big damn hurry.

okay, this isn't fun anymore.

I'm not saying that change is bad, or that we used to have it better. This just isn't what I signed up for. I'm tired of being frustrated all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old kook like me.

Tomorrow I'll go back to work, banging my head against a wall of newspaper salespeople who refuse to learn about this thing we call the Internet, and maybe, just maybe, I'll have a shred more empathy for them. I am getting old, after all.

Win a free Wii and Wii Fit.......whee?

because this blog, which was supposed to be about the passion my brother and I share for video games, hasn't self-indulgently diverged into the autobiographical enough, my day job came up with something relevant for me to share...with my loyal Digg-using casual-gaming audience...

it's a contest to win a Wii and Wii Fit. if you live in PA or know someone who does, you should enter. help me look good for the bosses.

http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/contests/wii/

Winnie the Pooh: what friends are for

Silly bear, your Tao will not save you.



Buy the shirt.

xkcd: I'm not the only one!

oh sweet vindication. Thank you, xkcd!

Punch Out: on your feet

I'm shitface drunk in New Orleans people, so ya'll are not my problem this Monday. Go find some other overworked middle manager to give you your weekly pep talk cause it ain't me, babe.

Toobin': hope floats

Optimism is a trait best reserved for fools and salespeople, but I will always bet on the sun coming up. I know it’ll come around even if I haven’t seen it for days- otherwise the world would be a much colder place. In this cynical age it’s easy to mistake taking stock for counting chickens, but rose-tinted glasses aren’t required to see possibility. Remember that despair is like a vampire- it steals our strength and leaves us hollowed husks, but it can only be invited in. For even as we float up shit creek, at least the water is warm.


Today we've tread enough water to pass our 300th post! It hasn't been easy to keep this up for so long, and I'm sorry that recently work has prevented me from posting our regular 3-a-week, but this blog isn't the only thing I'm trying to keep from sinking...

If you've got anything to contribute, anything at all, please email us or leave a comment.

I think I have an ulcer...no, seriously.

I just hope it doesn't come to this.



My stomach is killing me and I'm shitting blood. I drink too much, smoke too much, work late at night too much, and have black coffee for lunch.

...Never should have cut out the half & half. I'd rather be fat and happy than a hot pretzel...

Doomeru Spotting!

It seems my desperate pleas paid off, and Doomeru has been found! A Disney World tourist spotted him just outside Frontier Land and sent footage showing him alive and healthy...Well, at least alive...

Come back to us, Doomeru! Abject failure as a blogger and responsible human being isn't worth drinking yourself to death over. Haven't you punished yourself enough?

No Time For Games

Sorry people, the only games I've had time to play this week are PowerPoint and Excel. I was up till midnight yesterday trying to teach a keylogger to replace me. Keep your fingers crossed...

YouTube makes me sad...twice.

I guess I'm the only guy who tries to upload videos after midnight on a Tuesday, because YouTube is telling me to just "be cool" while they do maintenance:


I've really got to quit that day job...

Anyway, I've been slowly brushing my teeth and sniffling over this dog for the last 45 minutes:

But still no luck. So the Wednesday post is gonna be a little late. Deal with it.