the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most
Showing posts with label scarface. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scarface. Show all posts

Scarface Does Not Want You to Play

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 11:25 AM on Wednesday, July 25, 2007

video game design critique from the resigned gamer, manhunter

Having the option to "Continue" in menus, pre-selected when save data is detected, is a perfect way to get players quickly back in the game.

Scarface deftly uses this feature to streamline the process down to a mere 15 steps.




#

SCREEN

TO ADVANCE

1

Sierra splash screen

Press x to skip

2

Farsight splash screen

Press x to skip

3

Opening movie credits

Press x to skip

4

Loading screen

Wait.

5

Load successful notification

Press x to continue

6

Main Menu

Press x for Single Player

7

Single Player

Press x for Movie Scenarios

8

Movie Scenarios

Press x for Continue

9

Level Select

Press x to Select current level

10

Continue Scenario

Press x to Continue current level

11

Intro to level text w/ quote from movie

Press x to continue

12

Scene from movie

Press x to skip

13

Briefing w/ quote from movie

Press x to continue

14

Goals

Press x to continue

15

Autosave

Wait.


Scarface: The world belongs to a bunch of idiots so technically it could be yours

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 11:57 AM on Friday, July 20, 2007

sir cucumber's bitter corner, the resigned gamerI think I may have chosen the wrong career path.

Oh, the corporate 9-5 compensates me generously, with little expectation of productivity, but it seems I'm wasting my talent.

My talent for slinging.

Continue Reading >>

I started out with only 3 spider bags and a lazy pusher, but before my lunch hour was up I owned half of Miami.

The Diaz cartel offered me $132k to be their friend. I took their cash and moved on their turf anyway. The next round they offered me $96k to be their friend.

What awful recruiting firm found the executives to helm these narcotic distribution organizations and how did anyone buy an 8-ball in this town before I showed up?


scarface, say hello to my shitty game, the resigned gamerwe're gonna have to reevaluate the timeline on those deliverables, Bob.


It's not that hard, people. You purchase in small quantities you pay a premium. You go wholesale you get a discount. Yet the more junk I want to buy the more per unit you want to charge! Do they not have economies of scale in Cuba?

And don't get me started on hiring good help down here. I keep telling Jorge and Jose they need to have their gunfights from behind the car as opposed to standing out in the middle of wide open intersections but do they listen?

Nevertheless the money keeps coming in, the sun is shining, and life is good. Who ever thought becoming a big-time drug dealer could be so easy?