I know you feel, kitteh. I know how you feel...
Showing posts with label cat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cat. Show all posts
HP Critical. Help me.
Healers are essential team players in any struggle of significance, but they can't win the fight on their own.
I'm sorry I haven't been able to write as much good stuff, or put out another video (we have one coming real soon, I promise!). I recently got one of those promotions without a pay raise and it's killing me. Meanwhile, Doomeru is off in his cups so much I've got to turn to RPtheOG for another voice on this blog, and you know how that works out.
So if you want to write anything for Resigned Gamer, please, please, leave me a comment and we'll talk.
The Club: ur doin it wrong!
I work for a company that runs local newspaper sites around the country, and nearly half our visitors still use IE 6. We design accordingly. Seventy percent of our visitors come from search engines, almost most of which persist in going to Google and literally entering our URLs in the search box. We hate it, but know better than to try changing their bad behavior- only government is that dumb.
Going along to get along, and giving people what they want is a time-honored tradition amongst all forms of media, the video game industry not excluded. And it's not because we're a bunch of cowards- it's because it works.
Which is why titles like The Club don't come along every day. Albeit an unfinished product, The Club innovatively challenges gamers by forcing them to play the done-to-death 3rd person shooter in a completely non-intuitive, often frustrating manner. Like a Tolstoy or Kingsley Amis novel, The Club must be played for hours before it has any hope of being understood, much less enjoyed.
As each event in The Club's killing olympics is based on score, and, above all, score is based on a combo multiplier that decreases increasingly faster as it grows, you must continue fragging without hesitation, but also space out the kills just enough to buoy the multiplier across distances and time trials.
In gameplay terms, this means actively unlearning everything you know about the shooter genre: instead of taking cover, you should take the hit. Instead of searching for secrets, you should search for the exit. Don't walk, or sneak, or crawl or jump or lean. Run. If you're not running, you should be sprinting. Don't reload between firefights- if you have time for that you're not getting in enough firefights. Shoot everyone that moves, but remember not to shoot them all at once.
What often makes the difference between first and second place in an event is memorizing the location of combo-boost skulls hidden throughout the level, disciplining yourself not to blast them until the right moment, and recognizing when that moment is. You'll get a certain number of "attempts" in each event, and should expect to use most if not all of them, even if you can make it through on the first try. Believe me, the satisfaction of deriving and honing a routine, and then flawlessly executing it like some kind of dusted figure skater is worth the repetition.
In later stages you'll balance the use of attempts for practice against hedging your bets on the likelihood you'll be killed, which is especially fun five events into a tournament and struggling to claw your way past second place. Do you play it safe and go for the silver, or risk losing your last attempt and thus the entire tournament?
Sure they cut corners. The Club lacks sufficient difference between events and characters. It squanders the opportunity to create rewarding and succinct tournament storylines, like Tekken or Twisted Metal. Characters never interact or directly compete with each other, and you can't punch people. But this could all be rectified with a sequel, and The Club truly deserves one.
If you haven't expanded your horizons for mindless killing yet, I recommend you do so.
I forgot...to close...the door...ummph!
A long time coming, but I know...
Dis campaign...I will not miss it.
President-Elect l33t and teh American peoplez
has earned a break, but teh hard part, it comez next.
President-Elect l33t and teh American peoplez
has earned a break, but teh hard part, it comez next.
Thrilleh Kitteh Do It 4 Lurv
Michael Jackson Kung Fu Week...it ends...
I thought we'd be intarweb superstars by now, but we're not.
No one commentz, no one linkz, no one comes back.
But teh musics, and teh lurvs...we has it.
And we be dansn...not for honor...but for us...
I thought we'd be intarweb superstars by now, but we're not.
No one commentz, no one linkz, no one comes back.
But teh musics, and teh lurvs...we has it.
And we be dansn...not for honor...but for us...
mah week...wut did i do wif it?
Ever have one of those weeks when the only thing you produce is a report of all the meetings you held to talk about doing all the work you should be doing instead of actually doing it? Maybe I'm just not management material, but if I want to eat a buffalo I walk into the woods and shoot one,
And no amount of preparation, prognostication, communication or delegation will allow me to carry more than 100 lbs. of it back. So can we please just set the pace to grueling and go?
Be careful what you wish for
One minute you're running back and forth, just wishing you could explore new places through small spaces; The next you're sitting around all day, laying mines and waiting to bounce through crooked tubes and perfunctory breakaway bricks. What once seemed a fantastical novelty becomes an obligational drudgery for scratching up missile packs and the occasional boss. You got what you wanted, but you lost everything you had. Roll on. Roll on.
Friday...if it came any sooner it wouldn't nom as good.
Mah sky...it's full of lakitooz and bullit billz, and ders always an eezy way out. But if u take it, u spend all ur mans wondern what u missd.
2 steps furwahrd...one step back...
Paula Abdul and that kitteh were on to something. Not the opposites thing. I think people who aren't like me should die. But about the lurching give-and-take of life. Just as soon as you start getting somewhere some asshole comes along and slugs you in the gut.
Okay, never mind. This has nothing to do with Paula Abdul. I just like cats.
It is Friday, but teh hoomanz, they still suck.
not mah favrit LOL but itz how i feel today. Why evrybody always tryin to nom mah lunch?
Is not a cheezburger, srsly.
Continues? Do not want!
either teh weeks r getn longer or I is getn shorter...I don't think I'se getn shorter. Thank ceiling cat it's Friday...
Catamari Damacy
NA NAAAAA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA CATAMARI DAMACY NA NA NA NA NAAAAAAAAAAA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA CATAMARI DAMACY NA NAA NA NAA NAA NAA NAA DUM DIGGA DIGGA DUM...
thx HALOLZ k bai! you can has good wkend evbody!
thx HALOLZ k bai! you can has good wkend evbody!
Haiku for the B-list
I've often wished to be universally loved and irresistible to women, like that smug blue hedgehog or James Pond, but, were my wish to come true, who would I be? In accepting ourselves for who we are we come to see our inner beauty, and when you see it, others- not all, but enough- will see it too, and they will want to cuddle you. This week's haiku go out to some less-than-cute characters who've done just that.
SNAKE RATTLE & ROLL
rockabilly snake
only moves diagonal
think I might be sick
STARFOX
for the last time frog
maintain radio silence
or I will kill you
and Doomeru brings back a true classic...
ALLEY CAT
I jump on trashcans
avoiding dogs to eat fish
no one loves me
rockabilly snake
only moves diagonal
think I might be sick
STARFOX
for the last time frog
maintain radio silence
or I will kill you
and Doomeru brings back a true classic...
ALLEY CAT
I jump on trashcans
avoiding dogs to eat fish
no one loves me
Got your own haiku? Post it in the comments or submit it to resignedgamer@gmail.com.
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