the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most
Showing posts with label gba. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gba. Show all posts

Final Fantasy V: we just don't get it.

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 8:02 AM on Wednesday, June 3, 2009

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Final Fantasy V was the one iteration of the series from the SNES that didn’t come to the US. It’s said that the Japanese felt the job system would be too complicated for Americans to grasp, a vote of confidence that in conjunction with FF: Mystic Quest as our planned introduction to the series makes one wonder if they had ever heard of Might and Magic or Ultima,. The game came out many years back in America on the Playstation, with Final Fantasy Anthology, as well as a GBA port with an improved translation. After playing through it recently on the Playstation, I wonder if the only reason we didn’t get a copy originally is they were sure we’d call them out on their bullshit plot.

The crux of the problem is the game attempts to sell you on how close-knit your group members are to each other, but their handling of every potential bonding event between characters makes you hope they were trying to make some sort of statement about the genre to begin with. Your self-named character stands by the grave of his father, and one of the female leads comes to speak with him. Instead of opening up about an event from her childhood, she tells you that fathers are worthless as the main character pines for his dead family. You don’t really feel sorry for the lack of empathy, however, because the game looks at each opportunity to develop him as a person and conscientiously ignores it.

Galuf, the archetypical wise yet immature old man asks why he crossed over to Galuf’s alternate world when he might not be able to go home, and the main character explains how he’s deeply driven by the need to… “Well, I just felt like it. Felt like roaming.” How compelling. You learn that his father once fought with Galuf to save the world, it’s approached as a “Well that’s interesting” random coincidence.

The large disappointment is that you’re expecting a story, not a realistic portrayal of how people might react to similar events in real life. Galuf the office worker having worked with your dad? That’s nice. You tell a characteristically blunt person that you miss your dead parents? No sympathy. You make a life-changing decision just for the hell of it? Woo! There’s a reason fictional characters react differently to events than real people, fiction doesn’t have the space to develop the slow process of people becoming close to one another. You’re simply left with a generic game about nothing of any real consequence.


It’s a game about… nothing.

I puttered to around 70% of the way through the game ambivalent to what they were doing and why they were doing it. I was making my pirate into a bitching Samurai/Ninja, when all of the sudden I hit a somewhat sentimental moment. Galuf is battling this iteration’s incarnation of evil Exdeath, his daughter comes under attack, and he fights Exdeath, dying to save her life. I was surprised and momentarily touched. Then an eyebrow cocked up, and I realized they were trying to pull a fast one on me! Observe Tellah (FFIV) in the upper left, Galuf (FFV) in the upper right, Golbez (Villain from FF IV) in the bottom left, and Exdeath in the bottom right.


Taking off your glasses and lightening the hue of the armor
is the same as creating new characters.

In Final Fantasy IV, Tellah battles Golbez to avenge his daughter’s death, dying in the process. This was the point where redemption for the game became impossible for me. Sure there’s a villain behind Golbez who’s unveiled at the very end of the game, and Golbez never turns into a tree like Exdeath does, but ‘Old man fights another blue-hued villain bent on destruction because of something related to his daughter’. It’s like Back to the Future II without the wacky time paradox concerns.

After completing the game, I kinda wish I had watched this trilogy instead


The game isn’t without some good points or that it is without any original ideas. One interesting thing that’s fleshed out in this game is when the two worlds merge, you have the option to go through some extra dungeons for more powerful spells/equipment, or you can go straight to ExDeath. A similar gameplay technique is fleshed out in FF VI where in the World of Ruin one can fight the final boss as soon as you receive the airship, or you can go through a slew of dungeons to recover all of your characters and get some nice stuff. The job system also deserves some commendation as an interesting way of keeping you actively focused on your points and party set-up. The music is also as memorable and top-notch as you expect for a Final Fantasy game.

Even with these interesting characteristics, it’s hard to recommend Final Fantasy V with all the other options available unless you want to see the bridge between FFIV and FFVI. It can be beat in about 30 hours but the only engagement you’ll feel is from the job progression of your characters, and if this is your desire there are plenty of games which will give you an engaging story as well.

I’m fucking Napoleon. I’ve got a fucking horse!

Posted by Doomeru Woebashi at 8:29 AM on Wednesday, October 15, 2008

doomeru woebashi's soggy cardboard-covered exhaust grate, the resigned gamer


I think this title says it all. Do you want to step into the boots of the ultimate revolutionary? Are you ready to experience the real Napoleon, the Napoleon who beat Wellington and never suffered from gout? The Napoleon that only the exalted Gameboy Advance platform could deliver?

Play this game, or the guy in the epaulets dies.

I sure hope so. After last week’s surprisingly popular post on Advance Wars, I felt it was time to give everyone some perspective on what a real tactics game is supposed to be like. Sure, Advance Wars is challenging, with meticulously balanced units, tried-and-true turn-based gameplay, attractive art, convenience-inducing options, and all that rot. You’ll just have to forget all that when you play Napoleon, yessir. This is real time strategy, buster, and you have to get your hands dirty. In the real world we don't take any namby pamby turns!

If you want your troops to attack or move somewhere, you’re just going to have to ride out to them in person and tell them yourself. Napoleon always preferred face-to-face communication. And you can forget about selecting multiple units for a coordinated attack. Sure, you can attach ground units to cavalry, but you’ll still have to command them one at a time to do so.


If only these soldiers had listened to me...

Victory, of course, comes down to getting four of your weakest, slowest, cheapest units to sneak into your opponent’s base in order to steal their red flags, replacing them with more Napoleonic blue ones.


Onward, Redecorators!

This game is definitely an odd bird. I bet you never knew Napoleon employed a crack team of interior decorators, or temporarily enhanced the strength of nearby forces by shouting “Allez!” I’m hopeful this writeup will add something to your Wednesday. As opposed to the games you won’t go out and buy after Yahtzee reviews them, you probably never would have even heard of Napoleon, unless someone else out there is into importing obscure GBA games that only ever got released in Japan or France. I played it on an emulator using a fan translation, but obviously I can’t recommend anyone go that route. At least Napolean never talked to God, right?