the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Haiku for hope

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 11:28 AM on Friday, February 8, 2008

video game haiku from the resigned gamer

It's a bittersweet day for the Resigned Gamer. Today I will pack up my XBox 360 and scant other belongings for a long and arduous trip across the continent. I will leave Doomeru and this big city life for new opportunities on the untamed internet frontiers of Northeast Ohio. Much like when our Semitic Polish/Russian ancestors huddled in the cargo holds of trans-oceanic freighters, fleeing the bloody pogroms and raping cossacks for a new life in America, my journey will be fraught with unknown perils. At any moment the strained battery of my iPod could be pushed to its limit, I could be waylaid by a jackknifed tractor-trailer, forever lost to construction detours, find myself at an unmanned toll booth without exact change, or be brought to my knees upon the heartless asphalt by a ruptured tire and left to the merciless whim of AAA. There will be trials and tribulations, true, but there will also be hope. Hope for a better future, for me, for my children, and for my children's children. And that hope will drive me on until I reach my destination.

This week's haiku go out to all the brave souls before me who have pioneered the wilds in search of fortune. To those who reached the promised land, and those who came up short. All who've ever dared to try.


don't caulk the river
you'll lose your supplies and child
catch dysentery

don't show the teacher

what you wrote on that tombstone

cholera's no joke

And these two are from kn0thing, our fine companion on this long, strange trip.

hunting is easy
too much meat in my wagon

endangered bison

why must oxen die
I should have been a banker
fuck you oregon

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Rube Goldberg said...

Could be worse. Things are a bit more advanced than Little House on the Prairie here in the Big Flatness. We have electricity now.