the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Scarface: The world belongs to a bunch of idiots so technically it could be yours

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 11:57 AM on Friday, July 20, 2007

sir cucumber's bitter corner, the resigned gamerI think I may have chosen the wrong career path.

Oh, the corporate 9-5 compensates me generously, with little expectation of productivity, but it seems I'm wasting my talent.

My talent for slinging.

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I started out with only 3 spider bags and a lazy pusher, but before my lunch hour was up I owned half of Miami.

The Diaz cartel offered me $132k to be their friend. I took their cash and moved on their turf anyway. The next round they offered me $96k to be their friend.

What awful recruiting firm found the executives to helm these narcotic distribution organizations and how did anyone buy an 8-ball in this town before I showed up?

scarface, say hello to my shitty game, the resigned gamerwe're gonna have to reevaluate the timeline on those deliverables, Bob.

It's not that hard, people. You purchase in small quantities you pay a premium. You go wholesale you get a discount. Yet the more junk I want to buy the more per unit you want to charge! Do they not have economies of scale in Cuba?

And don't get me started on hiring good help down here. I keep telling Jorge and Jose they need to have their gunfights from behind the car as opposed to standing out in the middle of wide open intersections but do they listen?

Nevertheless the money keeps coming in, the sun is shining, and life is good. Who ever thought becoming a big-time drug dealer could be so easy?