the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

I'm still here.

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 8:45 AM on Tuesday, June 24, 2008

video game news from the resigned gamer

I, Sir Cucumber, a 26-year old mostly-straight white male, possessing of a higher education degree and upper-class means, am positive. Learning the news this Friday evening I was shocked, but not surprised. Because those of us who pursue this lifestyle don’t think, “it will never happen to me,” rather that it’s only a matter of time. Which is not to say this mindset makes it any easier when it finally happens.

I’ve approached my Xbox 360 with not so much a sense of joy but familiarity- of bodily funktionlust- nevertheless, looking down at those three red lights encircling the power button I felt like I’d lost my best friend. Thinking about it now I also approach my best friend with not a sense of joy but familiarity- of bodily funktionlust- but that’s another blog post. Probably another blog entirely.

xbox 360 red ring of death
Anyway- I thought I’d been careful. No foreign objects or heat sources had come in contact with my unit. It was in an unobstructed area, with the window fan blowing in its general direction instead of mine. Apparently I wasn’t careful enough.

I was playing Just Cause when it happened, and can’t help but wonder if it means the red ring was suicide- a cry for help at least. Perhaps the old brick had some taste after all. If nothing else I guess it means I deserve what I got. That and I'm never bringing another dark and sultry Latin man home with me again.

Not ironically at all, the box was a replacement Microsoft sent Doomeru after his original 360 caught the bug. He’d taken the tragedy as an opportunity to go elite, and I received the consolation prize as a hand-me-down when it arrived. Now the cycle continues.


What’s important though is I’m still alive and still healthy. I’ll have to change my routines to stay that way, but not my fundamental lifestyle. I’ll have to read more, and perhaps dust off the old, non-plastic, guitar, but I had a loving support structure before this happened to me, and I still have it now: Nintendo DS, and Playstation Portable.