the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Condemned, Criminal Origins: More fun than a lead pipe to the face

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 8:42 AM on Monday, March 3, 2008

sir cucumber's bitter corner, the resigned gamer
Doomeru didn't know if it was a promise or a threat, but I told him the first thing I'd play with his replaced red ring hand-me-down was Condemned.

And two weeks into a self-imposed exile of professional and emotional development, alone in my apartment, with five inches of snow outside and a refrigerator's maddening hum the only break to this town's smothering silence, I could think of no healthier time for some intense violence and strong language set against a backdrop of decay and creeping blood lust.

And there's not a whole lot to be said about it. I've beaten the homeless and mentally disturbed with blunt objects before- who hasn't? Clearly even this senior FBI agent has had a significant level of experience with it:

What I feel recommends Condemned more than anything is the ownership expressed by its designers. None of this Sporesque sandbox namby pamby live-your-own-experience crap. That stuff is nice when drinking with friends and small children, but come on. I say shit or get off the pot people, and, when the snow's coming down and the refrigerator's humming, I think more of you agree with me than care to admit it. Everyone loved Final Fantasy X and the entire world map was a straight line!

Condemned has kept narrative hope alive with convincing atmosphere and a compelling story.

...Albeit one that is told largely through loading screens...And doesn't make even a modicum of sense or offer any resolution...

Did I mention you get a taser?

1 comments:

alexis [kn0thing] said...

But is it a Syphon Filter taser?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ezcjqrc1Fuo