the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Haiku for the next of the last true romantics

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 8:34 AM on Friday, April 25, 2008

video game haiku from the resigned gamer

Inevitably we all fool ourselves into making fools of ourselves for feeling those for whom we feel feel the same. You can promise to protect yourself from ever getting thrown again, or you can get back on the horse.

This week's haiku go out to everyone still in the saddle.




give it up larry
she let you exceed your league
put it in spank bank



don't feel you're to blame
does not mean you're bad kisser
maybe she's a dyke



infinite fetch quests
chocolate, roses, and rings
won't make her love you



someone will find you
want your hairy pound of flesh
till then shave your back




keep pumping iron
shower, THEN deodorant
lose points otherwise



here's the big secret
must date them like you hate them
women are just strange



love knows no justice
no karmic retribution
nice guys finish last



plenty fish in sea
but they're all catch and release
and none are like her




Did you see our previous Leisure Suit Larry haiku?
What can we say? The man is a god.


And for the female perspective, Doomeru's flower girl:

GTA: SAN ANDREAS

didn't call enough
bitch be angry at you now
take her on drive-by


bought your girl some fries
bitch won't let you in her house
is it the chainsaw?


bitches be creepin
go hot coffee on they ass
dem womenz have needz


Got your own haiku? Perhaps you'll send it to resignedgamer@gmail.com, though I won't hold my breath.