Super Paper Mario is dead to me. I survive the Sammer Guy ordeal only to be plot-forced back into world 6, which is now destroyed. I arrive in a white, featureless landscape, as if the coders forgot to drop in textures and enemies. There is literally nothing to do and as a reward for my playtime up to this point I get to walk from one end of this stage to the other, with nothing to jump over, no flames to avoid, no shells to kick.
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I waited in line for five hours at the Nintendo World Store to get this system on launch day, and the winning strategy for world 6-1 of Nintendo's "reinvention" of the Mario Bros. franchise comprises me holding down right on the d-pad for 10 minutes. And there isn't even a run button. For all the screeching about the wide variety of items in this game the one I use almost to the exclusion of all others just serves to let you move faster.
As every other reviewer seems to have forgotten, Super Paper Mario is a side-scroller! Mario doesn't saunter to the castle, he runs, or glides, or stomps people in a green shoe. He has a run button so he can do crazy jumps and pick up shells and not overstay his welcome. Hell, most straight RPGs have the decency to give you a run option on the map Paladin's Quest excepted, of course) so why in this supposedly innovative game do I have to go to a menu screen to choose between running sorta fast and being able to pick shit up?! I guess I should be grateful I can't point the Wii remote at the screen for tips.
Those Mega 64 geniuses could make a great movie about this.
2 comments:
big green shoe FTW!
Why all the Cactrot-bashing?
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