the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Failing up with Puzzle Quest

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 9:57 PM on Monday, June 18, 2007

sir cucumber's bitter corner, the resigned gamerPuzzle Quest makes me want to throw my PSP across the train. I’d quit, but it keeps dangling hope in front of my tear-stained face.

I know this game takes patience and foresight, so why do I feel like that lady on the PATH muttering to her obnoxious handheld video slot machine?

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Admittedly losing during the tutorial was a sign, but it always seems like things are gonna go my way. I’ll scratch together enough mana for a stun, pick up some more mana and hit a 4-way for an extra turn, throw down another stun, and I’m really on a roll! And then the computer drops a 12-turn avalanche on me without even stopping to think about it. At least The Chessmaster had enough decency to wait a second before humiliating me.

Chessmaster, the resigned gamer
And it’s not demeaning enough to discover your intellect can’t rival an ogre or zombie. No, then Puzzle Quest has to throw you a bone. It couldn’t call itself an RPG without wevelling, and Puzzle Quest actually rewards your failures with experience points. I’ve almost lost enough to learn the Sword of Sirian technique. I’m thinking if I stick with it I could bungle things all the way to the White House.

But seriously, originality aside, who thought it would be a good idea to make a game that starts out impossible and then only gets easier?