the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Zelda: a chink in the timeline

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 10:26 PM on Tuesday, December 7, 2010

video game commentary from the resigned gamer, zelda, mario, smash brothers brawl

Continuing my lazy streak, here's another guest entry from Methossa...2 months after he sent it to me...And I always thought the reason Zelda was painful, unrewarding, and mildly confusing was because Link couldn't speak...


Joshstorm: Trying to figure out the Zelda timeline is what I imagine helping a tiger give birth is like: painful, unrewarding, mildly confusing.

Methossa: Yeah, I gave up after OOT. I think Nintendo refuses to disclose it so they can retcon when they want without having to admit it.

Joshstorm
: Apparently OOT makes it split between Majora's Mask/Wind Waker, and each of those lines. Miyamoto doesn't care about continuity, look at him.

Joshstorm
: Honestly though whenever canon says '...and then the timeline split' I know they're just doing an asspull.

Methossa
: I'm imagining Zelda: Crisis on Infinite Earths to resolve all the timelines. Or is that just Smash Brothers?

Joshstorm
: It does actually pull from both continuities... but they both have the same Final Smash. Plot twist? I blame... uh... Franklin Richards and his pocket dimensions.

Methossa
: I'm not sure I'm ok with the possibility that Dr. Mario beats Mario in it. Mario Galaxy as a Columns style puzzle game would be far less enjoyable.

Joshstorm
: Brawl retconned Melee out of continuity so it is fine now. Until Mario Prime gets a Star and creates new realities cause he's a dick. Then God help us.

Methossa
: All realities will converge with Mario as lead character in all games. It'll be cool when he fights Robotnik, but awkward trying to use the fire flower on the Helghast.

Joshstorm
: What about when it goes meta and he has to fight Miyamoto?

Methossa
: I always thought that's who the hand in Smash Brothers was.

Joshstorm
: Additional plot twist, in Brawl Master Hand is shown to be controlled by Tabuu from Subspace. Miyamoto's cry for help? The plot thickens.