the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Fun with Deconstruction: Grand Theft Auto

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 7:38 PM on Tuesday, August 10, 2010

This blog may be down to drinking the kinky dregs of accumulated search engine equity and reddit cockroaches, but dammit we're starting a new column! Updated...semi-irregularly...if at all...ever...

But enough with the preambling rambling...Let's put our overpriced liberal arts educations to use, shall we?!?

lance vance, grand theft autoThere's a Lance Vance in every office. Sometimes two!

Since before the dawn of speech, across the decades and the continent, there is a lasting appeal to every installment of the GTA3 and GTA4 series, which yanks upon one common thread:

We all have our issues, but I am the only competent person in a metro area of morons, layabouts, and perverts.

In an unfailing formula, From the City Stories to the Chinatown Wars, every protagonist's plot begins, and ends, with the problems of others. They are blotches on his radar, insistent and incessant, until he's busted, burnt alive, or shoots someone in the face.

It really makes me miss the originals, where every spoken word was gibberish, every mission optional, and the only true indicator of your progress was the accumulated point equivalent of damage you'd done to persons and property.

If anyone is out there, what other great games of canon shall we deconstruct? Leave us a comment.