There's nothing like that fresh and hopeful feeling you get from exercising your franchise. Sure most of us live in states where our votes mean nothing, but we get to push a button! A big button! In some polling places it's even a big lever! Punch ballots also have a powerfully classic aesthetic...unless you're too old and feeble to press a hole all the way through, which results in a hanging chad...
And all you people living in miserable places like Nevada, Missouri, or North Carolina- today is the one day that the rest of us care what you think!
I know it's an imposition. I know it's a pain. I know you've got to get to work and punch in, or get home and cook dinner for the kids. But you could have voted early and you didn't, so whose fault is that?
Neither one of these chumps have all the answers- but government never does. It's clear though that something must be done, and leaders follow people, so let's all push a button for the Republic today!