the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Haiku for Fresh Fish

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 9:07 AM on Friday, May 16, 2008

video game haiku from the resigned gamer

Transitions are always tough, and life is nothing if not a series of first days. Entering new relationships, institutions, or workplaces is fraught with peril as we struggle to learn the boundaries, norms, and expectations of our surroundings. We must keep up. We must fit in. We must- must not ever- show too much of ourselves too fast, and to many- too many- ever.

This week's haiku go out to all who've practiced the firm handshake and winning smile.


ingratiate fast
make a good first impression
dodge awful nickname

no sexual harassment
don't join a union

move the reticule
don't choose niner niner six
many deaths ahead

blast ratigators
to win a beach vacation
motivation works!

And Doomeru spent more time playing that "I want to know / what you're thinking" song that came with the Sega CD...

why do I exist?
to sell Sega's crap hardware?
compressed FMV

i love these cutscenes
don't need actual gameplay
fat bald man on beach

spin at 1X speed.
got no cache or save function
shake to skip level