the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Haiku for bootstraps of +2 determination

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 9:14 AM on Friday, April 18, 2008

video game haiku from the resigned gamer

Some say the best things come to those who wait. But while they sit holding their bottles, I recommend you slap yours on the 57 and stab it with your butter knife. Shit happens, but we make our own destinies, either through active participation or waiting to drop by our own weight. The only question is whether your logjam breaks before, or after, the meal gets cold.

This week's haiku go out to all who seize the ketchup in their hands and shake.

GOD OF WAR

I will kill a god
but first i must screw a slave
spin analog stick


PIZZA TYCOON

leveraged by mob
to make hawaiian pizza
don likes pineapple


product not selling
evaluate long term plan
form a focus group


should i lower price
or torch your establishment?
strategic vision


must diversify
sell assault weapons in back
or insurance fraud?


kn0thing cautions us that not all ambitions pan out as planned...

WARCRAFT III

need a bigger sword
do anything for power
paladin complex


slave to cursed sword
but still in management job
evil dead, arise!


And Doomeru chronicles Agent 47's quest for self-actualization...

HITMAN

wonderful outfit
and it seems to be my size
you won't need it now.


no need for laundry
garrote you for your clothing
fold mine up nicely


sometimes seems to me
that my skin is not my own
does one size fit all?


where did i begin?
what hand was my creator?
who made me so fine?


Got your own haiku? Post it in the comments or submit it to resignedgamer@gmail.com