Haiku for the B-list

I've often wished to be universally loved and irresistible to women, like that smug blue hedgehog or James Pond, but, were my wish to come true, who would I be? In accepting ourselves for who we are we come to see our inner beauty, and when you see it, others- not all, but enough- will see it too, and they will want to cuddle you. This week's haiku go out to some less-than-cute characters who've done just that.

SNAKE RATTLE & ROLL

rockabilly snake
only moves diagonal
think I might be sick



STARFOX

for the last time frog
maintain radio silence
or I will kill you



and Doomeru brings back a true classic...


ALLEY CAT

I jump on trashcans
avoiding dogs to eat fish
no one loves me

Got your own haiku? Post it in the comments or submit it to resignedgamer@gmail.com.