the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

O PSP, where art thou?

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 8:32 PM on Thursday, December 13, 2007

video game news from the resigned gamer
It hasn't been the best of weeks for Resigned Gamer. After waking up at 3 am to catch a 6 am flight to Cleveland to attend a day of meetings about "the future of database journalism," which devolved into sitting through a sales pitch for a product our company already intends to buy and wondering why we're willing to burn $832.80 to fly me last minute all the way out to fucking Cleveland and back for this but not spring for some decent little sandwiches and more than one pot of coffee and pint of half and half, I lost my PSP.

I just got on the plane, fell in the seat and passed out. Woke up and stumbled off, leaving it in the seatback pocket in front of me. Continental says it hasn't turned up, so I'm looking at you, guy who cleaned seat 21D on flight CO625 on Monday, December 10. Merry fucking Christmas.

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Now anyone who isn't a drooling idiot (read "casual gamer") knows a PSP that isn't cracked isn't worth having, and anyone who isn't a superficial Reggaeton blasting skullfuck (read "Madden fan") knows dem slimz a bitch to mod and the battery sucks ass anyway, but turns out it ain't that easy to get a new PSP Fat these days.

Bought one used at Gamestop but after Doomeru spent half the night charging the battery so he could crack it we discovered the L button didn't work and for some reason the D-pad wouldn't make selections when you pressed the Home button. In retrospect my spidey sense should have tingled when the clerk first handed it to me without a battery cover and rolled his eyes when I inquired about getting one, but it had been over 24 hours and my judgment wasn't at its best.

Brought it back today and- thank god- it was the fat pimply wheezing curly headed white guy's shift (read "not a Madden fan"), who on hearing my dilemma said, "Yeah they gave you a bad one. We always give out the bad one's first," and replaced it with a pristine one from the same drawer.

Still gotta get Doomeru to crackin' but fingers crossed...

...And if it doesn't work out I've always got another one coming from way I'm letting this happen again.


Gamerma said...

Ahhh my son, what can a mama say after all that?
At least you still have all your sweet little fingers.

Sir Cucumber said...

ladies and gentlemen, my mother.