the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

War is hell, and so is Full Spectrum Warrior

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 7:11 PM on Thursday, June 7, 2007

sir cucumber's bitter corner, the resigned gamerThe first Full Spectrum Warrior was legitimized by an unlockable Army training version and covered in recruitment ads, but I think I know why Full Spectrum Warrior: Ten Hammers isn’t.

And it’s not because it’s a bad game- in fact I think it’s a bit better.


It’s because all you do is fucking die.

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With nothing else to do to “support the troops” than continue shopping, a mixture of duty-to-country and liberal guilt inspired me to play the game on “authentic” difficulty. That’s the difficulty where, with no room for mistakes, you must command your two squads with a crystal clear sense of the mission.

Padding through the tensing marketplace, you have only seconds to react to a spray of insurgent AK-47 fire with a cool head and a string of precise orders. Using the full force of American military superiority, you lay down smoke and cover fire, while Bravo team hurtles down the avenue to flank the enemy- all the while strictly adhering to tactical urban combat principles of maintaining covered firing positions and minimizing the loss of non-combatant life. The enemy down, their cache of small arms weapons secured, you carefully advance further into enemy territory.

And then an RPG takes out Alpha team.

full spectrum warrior: ten hammers, xbox

There’s none of this “continue checkpoint” nonsense in “authentic” combat, so now you get to do it all over again.

So I gave up on that pretty quick.

Even on normal difficulty the later levels become next to impossible- if only because you simply can’t take one more careful repetition of your well-intentioned but inevitably flawed actions.

And this game doesn't even include IEDs!

War, when “authentic,” is simply no fun.

One thing I’d really like to know about though: If you make a decision, and then realize it was a mistake, there’s no “cancel” option- no "hang-on-guys-lets-rethink-this” button. That seems somewhat not “authentic” to me.

Oh, wait. Never mind.

2 comments:

Doomeru Woebashi said...

Why can't all wars be settled in FSW's battlefield?

Sir Cucumber said...

because they'd be too frustrating to finish. We'd be stuck in an undending quagmire of death, with no tangible progress of which to speak. No country would ever wage a war like that.

Oh, shit. I did it again.