the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Our Imaginary Friends: Little Mac

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 8:24 AM on Monday, July 7, 2008

I feel like maybe Little Mac didn’t know what he was getting himself into. Like maybe after a few years in retail or food service he thought, “why don’t I try something new?”

The assistant night manager at Applebees was sad to see him go, but could not deny his aptitude for fisticuffs, as testament the oft-repeated bar brawls at McSwidgin’s Thursday shot-and-draft special across the street, which Mac never started but always somehow seemed to finish.

Never one to complain or rock the boat, Mac found an eccentric trainer to put him on an intensive body mass-enhancing regime when lacking bureaucratic oversight allowed a poorly-placed extraneous zero to catapult him from the welter to middle-weight division.

Mac knew he was in over his head; that his resume did not justify the lofty position he’d attained, let alone the daunting expectations upon it. But it was the hand he’d been dealt, and if it hadn’t been his it would have been someone else’s.

The assistant night manager promised they’d always have a place for him, but he hasn’t needed it yet and- fingers crossed- it doesn't seem like he will.

little mac south park punchout resigned gamer
That's all the Punch Out we've got, folks. It's been real. Thanks to Doomeru's flower girl for all the great submissions. Make sure to check out the whole series, now on DVD!