the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Haiku for happy hermits

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 9:15 AM on Friday, June 6, 2008

video game haiku from the resigned gamer

Sometimes- oftentimes- I want nothing more than to be left alone. And it is generally at such junctures that, one way or another, the outside world comes calling. I fled New York City for the farthest reaches of Northeast Ohio, hoping to escape the push/pull pressures of friends, family, work, and women, but quickly found they'd followed me. Or, more accurately, I'd brought them all along. A man's home is his castle, but the only sanctuary is his head. We must work to keep both tidy.

This week's haiku go out to those who've truly left the crowd behind.

kn0thing starts us off with a true antisocial classic...


landlord for satan

classic traps never get old
giant feet crush guests

oh jack do come in
can i take your coat for you

watch that first step there

zoning committee
does not approve of gargoyles
your lawn needs mowing

our creepy neighbor

what is he building in there
i think he's jewish


bile demon swarm

devours intrepid hero
home security

gold procurement slows
weary imp slaves need slapping
resource management

small party they said
your parents will never know
i'm done with these guys


the bar scene is rough
it's hard to meet new people
try eHarmony

my old hippy friends
still don't believe in hygiene

when's your flight again?


sorority girls
vivacious and beautiful

until open mouth

lisa was pretty
so no one really knew her

bloodsucking gimpface

happy his partner went first

he will not be missed

dana was nimble
escaped vampires and midget
have to do myself

Got a haiku for us? Or a game, or theme you'd like to see haiku'd? Leave a comment, or email us.