the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Haiku for happy hermits

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 9:15 AM on Friday, June 6, 2008

video game haiku from the resigned gamer

Sometimes- oftentimes- I want nothing more than to be left alone. And it is generally at such junctures that, one way or another, the outside world comes calling. I fled New York City for the farthest reaches of Northeast Ohio, hoping to escape the push/pull pressures of friends, family, work, and women, but quickly found they'd followed me. Or, more accurately, I'd brought them all along. A man's home is his castle, but the only sanctuary is his head. We must work to keep both tidy.


This week's haiku go out to those who've truly left the crowd behind.

kn0thing starts us off with a true antisocial classic...

TECMO'S DECEPTION

landlord for satan

classic traps never get old
giant feet crush guests



oh jack do come in
can i take your coat for you

watch that first step there



zoning committee
does not approve of gargoyles
your lawn needs mowing



our creepy neighbor

what is he building in there
i think he's jewish


DUNGEON KEEPER

bile demon swarm

devours intrepid hero
home security


gold procurement slows
weary imp slaves need slapping
resource management


small party they said
your parents will never know
i'm done with these guys



UNINVITED

the bar scene is rough
it's hard to meet new people
try eHarmony



my old hippy friends
still don't believe in hygiene

when's your flight again?


NIGHT TRAP

sorority girls
vivacious and beautiful

until open mouth




lisa was pretty
so no one really knew her
exsanguination



bloodsucking gimpface

happy his partner went first

he will not be missed




dana was nimble
escaped vampires and midget
have to do myself





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