the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

24: The Game - a second off my life with every "tink"

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 9:29 AM on Friday, July 13, 2007

sir cucumber's bitter corner, the resigned gamerEven freedom-hating liberals like myself, who secretly hope for the failure of American troops in Iraq, can appreciate the crack-like entertainment value of 24.

So when I heard that 24: The Game "bridged the gap between seasons 2 and 3," and that I could find out what happened for only $19.99, I didn't take an opinion poll- I went with my gut.

And the intelligence we gained couldn't have been more unexpected:

There are terrorists in Los Angeles. And after hurting the President at the end of season 2, now they want to hurt the Vice President.

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24, terrorist leader, the resigned gamereither you're with Jack Bauer, or you're with the terrorists

What? You were expecting to help Jack Bauer infiltrate the Salazar drug cartel before Season 3 and play mini-games to get him hooked on smack? Terrorists want to kill the Vice President!!! They're attacking CTU again! They kidnapped Jack's daughter again! And his girlfriend! Again!

Oh, and the governor of California is a terrorist too. CTU's not going to figure out why (he looks like a Democrat), and they're not going to do anything about it either, but there it is.

Despite having to muddle through a fatal glitch at 4:28 pm- I wasn't about to cut & run just because of some poor planning- and having to constantly contend with those multiple real-time windows opening up- which are fun when you're watching the show but not so much when you're TRYING TO DRIVE A FUCKING CAR HERE ASSHOLE- this game actually had some fun moments.

24, defrag CTU, the resigned gamerdefragging the CTU hard drive to protect our precious freedoms

For starters, whenever a terrorist sees you they say "who are you?" and "what are you doing here" like you were trying to sit at their lunch table.

And also- no, actually, that's about it.