the resigned gamer, everything I hate about the thing I love the most

Fable II: A boy's first sandbox

Posted by Sir Cucumber at 8:12 AM on Wednesday, February 25, 2009

RPtheOG is back again like Are You Randy, people, and if you don't like it you can write something your damn self or find my fucking brother. Now, OG is a linear thinker, and not much for expressing himself in a creative fashion- what you might call a "multiplayer FPS fan." So while I myself was grossly underwhelmed by the first Fable and think that if Peter Molyneux can't give me a new Theme Hospital he can go fuck himself, I hope OG's reaction to Fable II might make us all think back on our first kiss in the sandbox...

I didn’t think farting on small children to impress the locals seemed at all worthwhile as playing COD with my clan, but last night I was at it until 2:30. If I didn’t have to work today I would have kept it up longer – maybe even all night. I spent over 30 minutes alone chopping wood. I wandered into some tavern and found myself sucked in for another half hour gambling away the money I’d earned chopping wood. It could have only been more enjoyable if they’d let me get drunk. I still haven’t banged my first wench, but I did buy condoms already as I’d rather be safe than sorry.

For all its open-endedness, the game is actually very direct. Tasks are easy to follow and understand. As opposed to that train wreck of a game Two Worlds, where you’d have no clue where you are going or what to do, a trail of gold dust leads you through your missions.

I’m only 8 hours into it, but so far I’m excited to go home and continue farting and gambl- er, my quest.

That's it! Or at least that's all I could salvage of OG's post off the cutting room floor. Hopefully he'll keep us updated on his fantastical flatulent journey...